i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
