my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
