where does the pee come out of this thing
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
