So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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