it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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