oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
