508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
