thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
