have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
