I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
...so i touched it.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
