i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
