please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
