Don't make out with my wife yet
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
