her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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