C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
