I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
