Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
