this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
