so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
