I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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