Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
