you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
