I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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