we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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