Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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