I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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