That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
