I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
