Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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