have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
