Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
