Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
