I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
