At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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