Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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