we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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