Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
