Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
