Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
