I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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