You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
