I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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