Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
