you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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