He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
