the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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