So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize