totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
