I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
