Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
